Return of the Ding Dong in Hong Kong

The second Hedge Fund Fight Night is coming in November. Alpha males, journeymen and brutes with anger management problems are required to volunteer to train in the noble art of fisticuffs.
Angry with your bonus? DonÆt be a psychopath and bite the CEO of your hedge fund. Sign up to be a warrior in the next Hedge Fund Fight Night and learn how to deck her/him via the Queensbury Rules.

Christened "the Ding Dong in Hong Kong" by legendary boxing promoter Don King via video-feed, the first fight night was held in Hong KongÆs Conrad Hotel last November. The event supported a truly deserving cause, Operation Smile, and raised HK$1.2 million. The fund raising was aided by prime broker Kirby Daly donating $20,000 for a pair of boxer shorts signed by Muhammad Ali.

In the ring, the victors were Doug "Bulldog" Jacobsen of Countrywide, Ron "The Anaesthetist" Rutland of Fortis, Tony "T-Bone" Shaw of HSBC, Magnus "Victimizer" Byrne of Macquarie and Toby "The Tornado" Dodd of Cushman & Wakefield. Not many hedgies in that list of winners. So come on tough guys, show us your muscles.

However, the reigning heavyweight champ of Hong Kong is a hedge fund manager: Tobias "The Wight Rhino" Bland is the founder of the hedge fund firm Enhanced Investment Products. One of the most impressive happenings of that evening was standing next to his glamorous, and ostensibly demure, wife during his bout with JF Asset Management's Adam Upton; as she screamed at 150 decibels, ôF****** kill him Tobes". Moving support when mindful that many spouses would probably be cheering on the opponent.

Who in their right mind would want to exchange punches with a man-mountain like Tobias Bland, who looks like he could easily tear your head off and enjoy doing it? AsianInvestor asked him if he was planning a return to the squared circle.

ôI would be retiring undefeated, but I am still training. I have to see who is stepping up. There are a couple of guys IÆd like to meet in the ring. I wonÆt say their names, but they know who they are.ö

Currently the organisers are looking for fresh meat who will undergo a five-month training programme at JAB gym to turn them into pugilistic monsters, ready for bouts comprising three rounds of two minutes each.

Potential bloodbath sponsors can contact Steve Tait on +852 2973 0131 and those wanting to take part in the second Ding Dong in Hong Kong can contact Emily Wong at Ironmonger Events for an application form ([email protected]).

Who will join in? Looking around the tables last year at the black-tie event, there were a few who seemed likely lads, with a butch, sporting glint in their eye. Harvey Twomey at Deutsche? Rob Lance at DragonBack? This correspondent may submit his name, aware that he is more accustomed to being on the receiving end of pointless violence courtesy of the wifely frying pan [Yeah, that'll be the day û Editor].
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